Saturday, October 6, 2007

A Diversion

FOR THOSE WHO ENJOY LANGUAGE
(OR SEVERE DISTORTIONS THEREOF)
Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine. A backward poet writes inverse. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking. Dijon vu, the same mustard as before. Practice safe eating, always use condiments. Shotgun wedding. A case of wife or death. A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy. A hangover is the wrath of grapes. Dancing cheek to cheek is really a form of floor play. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion. Reading while sunbathing makes you well red. When two egoists meet, it's an I for an I. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway). Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes. She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it. :Local Area Network in Australia; the LAN down under. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key. Every calendar's days are numbered. A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat. He had a photographic memory that was never developed. A plateau is a high form of flattery. A midget fortuneteller who escapes from prison is a small medium atlarge. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end. Once you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall. Bakers trade recipes on a knead to know basis. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses. Acupuncture is a jab well done.

2 comments:

J. Kaye Oldner said...

LOL! Love it!

Judith

Carol Burge said...

LOL - I don't know why, but silly things like this just cracks me up!