"You’re very welcome, Carol. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your entry - the writing is smooth, with a nice balance of narrative and action, which gave it just the right pacing. And, I love forced marriage stories. In fact, in my first class with Leigh, I wrote a modern day forced marriage story, and she pointed out the many ways it was not believable. (She was correct). LOL Well, you obviously do not have this problem, as yours is believable."I loved this. Rachelle went on to explain the reason she'd have my opening scene in the heroines POV and WHY. And that's the best part. She explained why and how it would make the reader more sympathetic with my heroine. The biggest problem (and ONLY problem) both Leah and Rachelle had with my entry was the opening character POV. Needless to say, I took their suggestions to heart and I will absolutely apply them to my WIP. Here's what else Rachelle had to say in addition to the very nice comment below: "this was a well written scene":
"At any rate, much success to you with this story. You’re a talented writer with a great story idea and I’d love to find out what happens to Mairin at Don Garcia’s house. "I've been doing the Snoopy Dance since yesterday. My DH is beginning to think I'm going crazy. Do you blame me? If you'd like to see Rachelle's (and Leah's) critique, click here. I'm off to apply my changes. Wish me luck!